Diary of a Fitness Fanatic | Srizzil Sketch

Dear Diary, Today I start my journey to becoming ripped like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dwayne the Rock Johnson I've been thinking of what my new middle name could be

Maybe Marc the Dark Williams Cause I'm so huge it gets dark when I walk past You know, cause I'm blocking out the light with my biceps Dear Diary, My fitness journey has gotten off to a rocky start after I dropped some weights on my foot Thankfully nobody was around to hear me scream like a little girl and weep uncontrollably

On the plus side I now walk with swag Dear Diary, I've been working out so hard I am drenched with sweat like I've been caught in the rain scene from the notebook I can hardly walk or lift my arms to brush my teeth No pain no gain they say Dear Diary, With a crazy workout regiment, a good diet is a must

I've cut out sugar completely from today and feel healthier already Dear Diary It's been three days with no sugar, I’m seeing spots and most of my colleagues look like chocolate bars I dream of ice creams dancing and singing eat me with big smiles on their faces Eat Me Eat Me Eat Me Eat Me Dear Diary, I'm starting to see results! I check every day in the mirror after gym to see if my muscles are getting bigger, and if I squint my eyes just right I can see them growing right in front of me Dear Diary, The people around me have begun to accept that I am the greatest most beautiful muscular specimen around

Sometimes, to let them know I'm the most manly in the gym, I drop my weights on the floor and make a big ape like noise That reminds them who's king Dear Diary, I've started working out in hot pants in the gym so I can admire the progress I’ve made for a full hour, and watch the sweat glisten as it runs down my body Dear Diary, I've found this wonderful magic powder that will make me even more buff I'm sure there'll be no negative side effects to regularly substituting real food for this heavenly gift

Dear Diary, I have decided to grow a beard, it looks very manly and threatening to other massive muscle heads who would dare challenge my alpha position I have also shaved all the other hair off my body so that my muscles can glisten more when wet Dear Diary, I'm going to start painting myself with self tan every night because the sun is just not making me orange enough to out glow the other alphas in the gym Dear Diary, I have decided to become a personal trainer to spread the self obsessed glory that I have become Thousands of people are following my healthy Instagram posts with amazing comments like “Click here for more followers

” and “Nice pic, follow me for nudes” Dear Diary, I am the greatest Subscribe

Source: Youtube